A Tale of Two Pit Bulls

Pit Bull. No other dog breed stirs up some up more emotion. Are they ruthless killers? Or loyal companions, misunderstood by all except those patient parolees?

Our goofball poodle mix was recently walking its human on a leash when, bam! out of nowhere a pit bull appears, grabs on the poodles leg (for being a dork, I assume) and does not let go. Kicking, screaming didn't help. Only the owner got the pit to release by punching his own dog in the face. The poodle on the other hand, ended up with stitches and a new sense of the world being an unjust place for the placid.

By some bizarre pit bull wand, that same week a relatives pit mix happened to start some shit at doggie daycare. Outcome of the recipient of his wrath was not so good.

No doubt pits make cute, loyal family pets! BUT, Historically speaking, this was a breed of dog bred for bloodsports. You can't erase or wish away that breeding anymore than hoping your husky won't run away from home (hint--it will)

Lots of weapons are allowed in the USA, so its fine by me if you want some damn dangerous pet in your care. Get a bear, pit bull, alligator, ostrich, wolf, inbred cousin. Just don't delude yourself by cuteness and recognize the responsibility that comes with owning a pet that can also act as a weapon. So keep the safety lock on!

Where are the Obese Children in Rich Neighborhoods?

No matter your political persuasion, everyone agrees the numbers are real: US children are increasingly unhealthy 😞

Mental health aside (which knows no economic boundaries) let's address why oh why, the sporty look alike kids form swanky neighborhoods are not pre-diabetic, obese and asthmatic?? Could it be.... because they aren't poor? Gasp!

Yet our cruelty driven Trump fueled party believes it can somehow improve health outcomes that are linked to poverty.... with.... more poverty!! Forcing unwanted babies to be brought to term for those that can't leave the state, cutting food assistance programs and medicaid.

As if with less food assistance funds, poor moms are going to put on their jogging shorts, drop junior off at soccer and trot on over to Whole foods to stock up on organic broccoli and milk?

Stressed out parents wading through poverty, don't want their kids to be unhealthy. But they do know that cheap food will placate their kids stuck at home in unsafe neighborhoods! And  kids hooked on sweet cereals and sodas, with no affordable replacement nutrition, aren't going to be miraculously "fixed" with RFK Fit Bits. But maybe they could all become Kennedy's?

Why Can't I Be a Paid Protester?

 As denizens of LA light self driving Waymo's on fire and dance raucously in the streets, the GOP talking class solemnly appears on FOX news. Reassuring pearl clutching MAGA maggots, that once again-- these are obviously "paid troublemakers", not concerned citizens.

This blatant GOP lie pales in comparison to the aggravation they are causing by omitting-- How? How does one apply for this absolutely fabulous employment opportunity !? 

 Do they not recognize that most citizens of Portland, Oregon gleefully Google: "How to be paid to Torch Tesla?" Or "Can I at least get free Burger King on No King's day?" But alas, they are greeted by silence and disappointment. The merriment of trouble making continues to be reserved for privileged volunteers. No matter your credentials in anarchy, protesting don't pay.

 

 

Those Prickly Presidential Polls

So now our swashbuckling tangerine man is complaining about low poll numbers 😏Ridiculous. For a stable genius who effortlessly hacked populism via red trucker cap and musing about shower pressure, all of a sudden understanding voters has become an enigma!

He almost got it. Did seem to notice the old fashioned term "groceries", was perplexingly brought up by maga minions. Knew enough to at least lie and promise to bring down grocery costs on day one. Which of course is totally impossible, but no worries, promised it anyway.

Now the orange grump is confused that the voters noticed, even calling it fraud. Because they noticed that 'old fashioned' groceries have not gone down in cost at all. Nor has gasoline, housing or anything else for that matter. The smoke and mirrors are beginning to clear and voters can see that their emperor has no clothes (but with a biggly bmi should remain on).

Make America Expensive Again!

Trumpsters Tariffs are giving thee the giggles 💁

If you happen to loathe the over-consumptive and throw away culture that defines modern day Americana, nothing will halt that faster than tariffpalooza!

In the 1950's average Americans spent 30% of their incomes on food (vs. 10% now) and 12% of income on clothing (vs. just 3% today!) Ever wonder why old homes have non-existent closets? Because clothes were made in the USA! Garments were much more expensive then (relatively speaking)--  due to American wages.

If you are old enough to remember what life was like just 40 years ago-- mom had about 5 dresses, dad wore the same old suit to work for years on end and kids rooms were not exploding in gazillion toys.

Then Bam! Globalization hit. We lifted millions out of poverty buying their cheap ass clothes and shoes, especially from China, where factories can pay workers less than a dollar per hour, with higher wages topping out around $3.00. Bangladesh (and this is after recent protests) increased garment workers minimum wage to $133 per month, including the fabulous perk of often working long hours, 7 days per week. 

American workers will never, ever accept those kind of wages or working conditions. Thus, the only logical outcome will be, drum roll please.... increased costs! (wait, is that what folks voted for??) Clothes, shoes, couches and binge shopping on Wayfair.

Although we can revel in the schadenfreude of destroying cheap consumerism, did  MAGA hats really intend to vote themselves right out of the Walmart shopping cart?

Hey PETA, What About Painted Poodles?

Every year PETA gets itself into a tizzy demonizing Alaska's Iditarod sled dog race.

PETA's argument goes something like: sled dogs are bred relentlessly, tied to dog houses and then forced to run long distances. Yadda yadda, thus the race is bad.

But what about the phenomena known as - painted poodles? (look it up!) These are not your ordinary french cut canines, but ridiculously groomed pink, purple, blue, rainbow monsters, akin to drunken clowns escaping from a shady tattoo parlor.

Now lets ask the DOGS, which would they prefer? To run in the Alaskan wilderness with a pack of fellow rowdy canines? Or to be humiliated by your dear owner to look like a non-canine circus freak, solely for their amusement and possible cash prizes?

🐕🐕🐕🐕

 

Elon WANTS You to Rise Up Against Him!

Interestingly, our very own South African Hitler reposted a tweet that sweet Hitler and Stalin didn't actually kill anybody-- public sector (aka government workers) did!

Let's unpack this for a moment. We're talking about fierce dictators. That means they dictate to their workers what to do. Kind of like when a pale weirdo sends an email to millions of government workers demanding 5 bullet points --or get fired!

If Ketamine brain Elon understood history, maybe he'd realize that when dealing with hell bent dictators, it's pretty much kill or be killed. And justifying immoral actions through endless propaganda. (Like hypocritical Muskrat is spreading) 🙊

So if Elon feels public sector workers shouldn't be "yes" men, logically they should fight MAGA propaganda! Rise up, against DOGE Dictatorship and save society!!