Don't Worry, a Red California will have it Figured Out!

The devastating LA wildfires have brought about some strange news headlines:

 "Liberals fed up with California fires, will be voting red next time".

That's right, or shall I say right-wing ;) because as a RED state, California will have:

No more gruesome Newsom, fanning Santa Ana winds with ugly offshore windmills!

Instead, welcome--The Marjorie Taylor Greene fire brigade! Equipped with beautiful American drones and Space X cloud-seeding technology--dousing out wildfires faster than one can say: "Jewish space laser"!

But wait, there's more. A RED California, will certainly loosen those pesky building codes--encouraging fast, furious and crowded development on historically drought stricken slopes with glorious McMansions! And say goodbye to the EPA and their silly requirement to treat sewage. Instead, in RED California, all high flush golden toilets will be equipped with toilet spigots--automatically diverting your used poop water to the roof of your beautiful, big, bad ass home. Soggy roofs will save us! Vote red!

Meta and Schmuckerbergs Shrinking Stones

 I guess it's purely "the cost of doing business" that everyone must hail to the orange chief.

Of course human fact checkers might be biased, but what about the tech bros own creepy creation? AI? Can't we apply AI to do something besides plan the demise of the human race?

The United States has just certified the election of a giant propaganda machine and liar. And to those that believe the 2020 election was stolen--where is the evidence? The masterminds?

These are kooky times. But Meta could try to do some good, instead of making it impossible for facebook abstainers to see small business pages-- without logging in and joining their cult.

 

Donald Muck, Donald Muck and World Domination

Last Saturday 24 Starlink satellites were launched into space to join their 6,764 disposable space sisters floating along low earth orbit. More disposable space junk for more efficient TikTok viewing.

BUT. Americans live encompassed by light pollution, not necessarily aware of the night sky. The gravity of these launches, passes them by. If only they could see the bright satellite lines, our altered cosmos-- the global power of just one guy. 

(Imagine a primitive culture, looking up at the familiar star constellations, and the complete terror of observing a Starlink launch line. The gods be crazy!)

Beneath the cosmos, resides King Donald, with a penchant for speaking and pathological lying. His greatest skill, his biggest guise? Knowing honest people easily believe lies.

Combine the robot star maker with the emperor of tall tales, together they make the worlds scariest males.

What Peanut the Porn Squirrel Proves About the GOP

Elon. Elon. Maybe one of those millions of Musk babies can explain to him what "cite your sources" means. Obviously bouncing boy Elon has zero time to fact check or verify anything. Yet his ADHD riddled brain continues to impulsively post on X.

Case in point: posting about Peanut the squirrel. Cute little animal, died in vain.

Very unfortunate. RIP Peanut. BUT if Elon (doesn't this billionaire have any staff?) had dug deeper into the story, he would have known the gov't was sent to poor Peanuts home to investigate his living conditions. Because this squirrel was being used to promote very pervy porn. Probably without his consent. 

So is Elon saying the GOP supports this? Isn't this the party of Project 2025, who will be enthusiastically euthanizing all pervs sometime next year?

What about Elon's post about Nancy Pelosi's husband, when he was viciously attacked by a home intruder? Instead of spending 30 seconds fact checking, Elon mindlessly posted ridiculous rumors that said intruder was a male prostitute. 

(And this was somehow the more believable story??) 

How is it possible that Elon can possibly spot Government inefficiency, when his definition of efficiency apparently means morbid inaccuracy?

Republicans Will Never Allow Kennedy to "Go Wild on Health"

Poor little R.F. Kennedy Junior. He is under the spell of the conniving orange troll, who has mischievously promised him a magical health care wand.

First: Either the orange troll is lying through his fake teeth, or is a know nothing.

There is no "mystery" behind chronic disease and lifestyle illness amongst children.

The television loving troll may remember the program "Leave it to Beaver". Aha--the good old days. 

Blatant sexism aside, US chronic health conditions could easily be addressed requiring mandatory watching of Leave it to Beave!

Dinner around the table, protein, potatoes, vegetables and milk. Parents drinking tea. What is missing? Giant soda pops, screens, gmo wheat laden cakes and chips. Kids are not pale and sickly, but tan and riding bicycles. 

(wow! Billions of research dollars saved!)

Second: Any politician that has tried to address these chronic health conditions , gets shot down by...wait for it....tada...Republicans!

(Anyone remember Bloomberg trying to limit Big Sugary Sodas?) Or Trumps assault on the EPA, which now Kennedy is under the illusion will be mandated to Step Up regulation of harmful agricultural pesticides? 

Republicans fundamentally believe we have the Freedom to destroy our bodies.  People really like their pesticides, pepsi and bright pink peeps. And the Republican party will continue to fight for your right to become an obese, chemical filled couch potato. (That you may or may not wind up making your romantic partner 😉 )

RFK Jr's Aspirations to be Fictional Health Secretary

 Dear Dingo: 

Thoughts on RFK Jr and his aspirations to lead Trumps Health department?

Answer:

RFK is not boring. After all, he speaks fluent raven and dines on road kill. All admirable traits. But his fantastical belief that he will actually change anything about American health habits under Trumpet, are the delusional musings of his brain worm.

Anti-vaxx crap aside, RFK is correct--autoimmune diseases, autism, & obesity need to be front and center of US health policy. What's bananas is, RFK knows the reasons behind chronic disease already!--An F'd up food system promoting sugar and processed foods engulfed in pesticide residue. Farm animals jacked up on antibiotics and soils destroyed via herbicides. 

How on earth will working in an administration run by an obese man addicted to happy meals (all while burning down the EPA) going to solve that? Shame on the brain worm.

Why Your Venus Fly Trap Keeps Dying

Dear Dingo:

I purchased a cute little Venus fly trap plant at the Home Depot. It is a sad piece of vegetation, kind of dead and droopy, yet the instructions simply state to keep moist. What gives?

Answer:

Unfortunately, these small plastic boxes containing carnivorous greenery are a scam put out by Home Depot, Wal-Mart, Trader Joe's and other proprietors of trendy plants. The instructions completely fail to mention the Venus fly traps true needs--in effect, that it is an aquatic plant plucked from its native wetlands of North and South Carolina!

Thus, it is your job to attempt replication of Southern goodness. To help your bug sucking plant survive-- find a pond, water feature, or even large bird bath. Note--weather must be warm! Place the poor thing in shallow, murky water and let it suck up natural sun light. It will recover, and find its own food to boot! 

But alas, after balmy summer weather the Venus requires a winter dormancy period. In milder climates this simply means continuing to live outdoors. Otherwise Google dormancy tips for your particular area, ensuring your little guys survival. Good luck!🌿