Dear Dingo:
What exactly is an evangelical voter? I am really confused where they stand on families??
Answer:
Stop thinking logically. Think like a chicken instead.
Chickens immensely fear anything new, even a different chicken. They hide, shiver and shake--and only emerge to peck at the newcomer. Family values does not drive conservative chicken voters, fear does.
When the politics of fear guides your vote-- you tend to be pro-guns, fear those that are different and worse of all--you vote in an old, orange wolf to protect the hen house.
Dingo speaks
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Sunday, June 10, 2018
What is the Fortnite Phenomena ??
Dear Dingo:
Being something of a luddite, I do not know much about video games. I do know that there is a game called Fortnite that involves shooting and is wildly popular with the kiddos. What else should I know about this game?
Answer:
It is the NRA's epic fantasy world. FINALLY everyone has tons of guns!
( if you have not seen it--watch a Youtube video of the game being played).
In this NRA wet dream, guns, guns are everywhere! Run around shoot everyone (because otherwise someone will shoot you) then take their guns and look for more people to kill! yay!
And how nice--they don't even show any blood, so you can enjoying killing without the guilt--double yay !
I certainly believe the whole endeavor is funded by the NRA, as the kiddies are all super crazy addicted--or how stockholders of the gun industry see them--future customers !!
Being something of a luddite, I do not know much about video games. I do know that there is a game called Fortnite that involves shooting and is wildly popular with the kiddos. What else should I know about this game?
Answer:
It is the NRA's epic fantasy world. FINALLY everyone has tons of guns!
( if you have not seen it--watch a Youtube video of the game being played).
In this NRA wet dream, guns, guns are everywhere! Run around shoot everyone (because otherwise someone will shoot you) then take their guns and look for more people to kill! yay!
And how nice--they don't even show any blood, so you can enjoying killing without the guilt--double yay !
I certainly believe the whole endeavor is funded by the NRA, as the kiddies are all super crazy addicted--or how stockholders of the gun industry see them--future customers !!
Thursday, May 17, 2018
Violent Animals or Humans?
Dear Dingo:
As an actual animal, what are your thoughts on the Predator-in-Chief referring to violent gangs as "animals" ?
Answer:
I pity the Presidential predator. He obviously has no idea what an animal even is. The most common animals on earth are in fact nematodes, otherwise known as worms. Worms are not violent, nor are they affiliated with any gangs. They certainly don't deal narcotics or beat people with large sticks.
It would be much more accurate for the orange troll to refer to himself as an "animal". Many animals actively seek out the act of copulation, and have reproductive habits similar to his own.
As an actual animal, what are your thoughts on the Predator-in-Chief referring to violent gangs as "animals" ?
Answer:
I pity the Presidential predator. He obviously has no idea what an animal even is. The most common animals on earth are in fact nematodes, otherwise known as worms. Worms are not violent, nor are they affiliated with any gangs. They certainly don't deal narcotics or beat people with large sticks.
It would be much more accurate for the orange troll to refer to himself as an "animal". Many animals actively seek out the act of copulation, and have reproductive habits similar to his own.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Has the Culture Really Changed ??
Dear Dingo:
When I read about the backlash against Parkland teen activists, most commentators and pundits say the real problem is not guns, but that the "American culture has changed". As anyone who has studied American history could tell you--this does not make any sense.
Answer:
Aha! But to these ridiculous pundits, something has changed. See, in the good old days, random violence was perpetuated against lesser folk--that "obviously deserved it". Like Native Americans defending their lands, or blacks looking at white women. I assume these same pundits feel that massacres of whole Indian villages, lynchings and selling of slave children where simply part of a more gentile USA, the "great" America we aspire to. Ha!
Random violence against the innocent is an old American story. Sociopaths and people experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or revenge fantasies are not a modern creation either. What has changed is : GUNS now OUTNUMBER people in the United States.
And just like a park full of dog poop, sooner or later, someone is going to step in it.
When I read about the backlash against Parkland teen activists, most commentators and pundits say the real problem is not guns, but that the "American culture has changed". As anyone who has studied American history could tell you--this does not make any sense.
Answer:
Aha! But to these ridiculous pundits, something has changed. See, in the good old days, random violence was perpetuated against lesser folk--that "obviously deserved it". Like Native Americans defending their lands, or blacks looking at white women. I assume these same pundits feel that massacres of whole Indian villages, lynchings and selling of slave children where simply part of a more gentile USA, the "great" America we aspire to. Ha!
Random violence against the innocent is an old American story. Sociopaths and people experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or revenge fantasies are not a modern creation either. What has changed is : GUNS now OUTNUMBER people in the United States.
And just like a park full of dog poop, sooner or later, someone is going to step in it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
No--You Don't Exist!
Dear Dingo:
I see dark, dark times ahead. If media images are getting digitally altered, conspiracy theories normalized, and bots comment that everything is funded by Soros--how can reality, facts and truth ever prevail ??
Can humans survive in an environment that is altered, falsified and constantly manipulated? Won't we just become more confused and scared-like chickens with our heads cut off ???
Answer:
Reality is boring and facts are complicated. Why do you think people willingly put on virtual reality goggles, take drugs or watch Fox and Friends ? Remember how the optimists once launched "The Learning Channel", that's now become nothing but 'My 600 pound life'?
Think of it this way--Information has become one big McDonalds. People should be eating their reality vegetables, but always choose the falsified fries, apple pie and coke instead.
At least you know your fellow Americans are running around jacked up on fake facts, so instead of getting caught up in a Facebook or Twitter info war--calmly reply--"I'm sorry , I don't believe you or your opinion even exist and that's my fact Jack! "
I see dark, dark times ahead. If media images are getting digitally altered, conspiracy theories normalized, and bots comment that everything is funded by Soros--how can reality, facts and truth ever prevail ??
Can humans survive in an environment that is altered, falsified and constantly manipulated? Won't we just become more confused and scared-like chickens with our heads cut off ???
Answer:
Reality is boring and facts are complicated. Why do you think people willingly put on virtual reality goggles, take drugs or watch Fox and Friends ? Remember how the optimists once launched "The Learning Channel", that's now become nothing but 'My 600 pound life'?
Think of it this way--Information has become one big McDonalds. People should be eating their reality vegetables, but always choose the falsified fries, apple pie and coke instead.
At least you know your fellow Americans are running around jacked up on fake facts, so instead of getting caught up in a Facebook or Twitter info war--calmly reply--"I'm sorry , I don't believe you or your opinion even exist and that's my fact Jack! "
Friday, March 23, 2018
Don't Want Your Info Sold? Try Butt Sniffing!
Dear Dingo:
Dogs are social creatures, so perhaps you can help me understand social media. As I am on of those odd humanoids that has never opened a Facebook account, I am curious about the appeal for those that do partake?
Answer:
Because humans are both narcissistic and voyeuristic. And you don't sniff butts.
That's why canines don't partake in Facebook. (or maybe because we don't have fingers) but sniffing tail tells you all you need--and nobody ever sells your info !
A good butt sniff reveals:
If a bitch is in estrus ( I believe you humans call this a "status update")
Where a dog has recently been (this is more efficient than posting vacation pics)
Recent diet (think--no more annoying food photos!)
Health and pack status ( no fake news or lies- butt sniffs would beat out Twitter)
Dogs are social creatures, so perhaps you can help me understand social media. As I am on of those odd humanoids that has never opened a Facebook account, I am curious about the appeal for those that do partake?
Answer:
Because humans are both narcissistic and voyeuristic. And you don't sniff butts.
That's why canines don't partake in Facebook. (or maybe because we don't have fingers) but sniffing tail tells you all you need--and nobody ever sells your info !
A good butt sniff reveals:
If a bitch is in estrus ( I believe you humans call this a "status update")
Where a dog has recently been (this is more efficient than posting vacation pics)
Recent diet (think--no more annoying food photos!)
Health and pack status ( no fake news or lies- butt sniffs would beat out Twitter)
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Can I order a beer with my gun please?
Dear Dingo:
I can't understand why the conservatives and NRA trust teens with weapons, but not booze. Wasn't it Ronald Reagan that raised the drinking age to 21 ? If they feel a twenty year old can't even restrain themselves around a six pack of Schlitz, why is the exact same teen to be trusted with a Ruger?
Answer:
According to the NRA--a young single mom deserves the right to defend herself (yes, actual laugh out loud NRA quote!) Because as you know, the conservatives are all about supporting young single moms, Ha!
Obviously, a conservative unthink tank, came up with the brilliant idea that teens can "turn on" their frontal lobes to "mature restraint setting" when they encounter dangerous firearms (amazing!) Apparently these very same frontal lobes malfunction when exposed to rental cars, casinos, or cocktails ! (As teens aren't allowed near any of those) What a pity the teen brain develops in such an uneven fashion....
I can't understand why the conservatives and NRA trust teens with weapons, but not booze. Wasn't it Ronald Reagan that raised the drinking age to 21 ? If they feel a twenty year old can't even restrain themselves around a six pack of Schlitz, why is the exact same teen to be trusted with a Ruger?
Answer:
According to the NRA--a young single mom deserves the right to defend herself (yes, actual laugh out loud NRA quote!) Because as you know, the conservatives are all about supporting young single moms, Ha!
Obviously, a conservative unthink tank, came up with the brilliant idea that teens can "turn on" their frontal lobes to "mature restraint setting" when they encounter dangerous firearms (amazing!) Apparently these very same frontal lobes malfunction when exposed to rental cars, casinos, or cocktails ! (As teens aren't allowed near any of those) What a pity the teen brain develops in such an uneven fashion....
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