Ayn Rand's Atlas Passed the Globe

Dear Dingo:

I saw that the silly NYPost blames Facebook and Zuckerberg's $ for Biden's 2020 win.  How is it that the "leftys" are now being called Marxists AND rich Elitists--simultaneously, without a hint of irony? 

Answer:

The rabid right is very, very confused. Those same conservatives, that not so long ago were gleefully handing out copies of "Atlas Shrugged" got hoodwinked. Their chants of 'free enterprise' quickly changed to "reign them in" after they glanced over at the latest Forbes billionaire list..No more oil and coal executives, but bunches of nerds making tech or having space rocket races.

Liberals grabbed the Atlas Shrugged ball,  so the conservatives no longer want to play.

Dingo Explains Texas Pro-Life Values

Dingosplains the Rules of Texas:

1) As Texans you are mandated to report on your neighbor if they seek out an abortion of a human fetus at 7 weeks (note: that's a 10 mm long fetus). As that would be murder in Texas.

2) As Texans you are obligated to be outraged about illegal human immigrants (that includes children longer than 10 millimeters in size). They should be sent back to whatever shit hole country they came from, even if that results in their death. Texans are not pro those lives.

3) As Texans you are free to unmask, sneeze and spread drippy Covid virus amongst  yourselves. If a radio host or your neighbor happens to die from it, that is simply god's will.

Logical conclusion: Texas gladly welcomes undocumented fetuses at the border, just keep those buns in the oven while crossing the Rio Grande and never, ever wear a face mask.

It's Not a Choice, It's Grandma

 Dear Dingo:

So the party of "pro-life" is now cheering low vaccination rates at the CPAC. I get that they feel vaccination is a "choice",  but can't they see people are vaccinating to save lives, which I thought they were 'pro'.

Answer:

 CPAC members are simply tall toddlers. If the cause and effect isn't immediate, then it just isn't.

But good for them. They enjoy restricting voters rights, so at least they are actively reducing the amount of conservative voters too. Who says they aren't inclusive?

How the Rabid Right Misunderstands Survival

 Dear Dingo:

The rabid right is always against Darwin or evolution being taught in the schools, yet they are the first to chant "survival of the fittest" when it comes to pandemic protections. What is with the selective survival?

Answer:

Kind of like selective pro-life: applies only to unborn babies on American soil. Migrant children don't count. 

Yet I digress. What the right misunderstands is that "the strongest" have never survived---just ask the T-Rex how that worked out for him? Darwin's actual quote was:  the species that survives is the one that best adapts to change.

Like accepting new things,  hmmm... maybe masks and vaccinations....😉

So Don't Tread On Me Too!

Dear Dingo:

I live in a state that is still enforcing mask mandates, and all the local stores are as well. Yet, every day there is one anti-masker is in the store as well. They are always the same--pretending to act tough, yet so obviously uncomfortable--as humans don't really like to stand out that much!

I am tempted to confront them and explain the simple fact that we all live by rules that we don't necessarily agree with. Why can't they just understand that?

Answer:

Because Don't Tread On Me only applies to rules they don't like!

For example, if you want to walk into a store barefoot with a pot belly pig on a leash, I am pretty sure these die hard anti-maskers would be the first to point out that you are in fact breaking the rules. 

Basically, by their logic --You put up your little Gadsden flag up and it all becomes a free for all! So here's your chance--even if you live in a conservative neighborhood--your wildest hippie dreams are now possible: Get day drunk with your pet peacock in the front yard, while blowing dandelion seeds towards the neighbors yard. Teach your non-binary kids all kinds of witchcraft, and make sure to mow the lawn topless (especially if female).  Don't Tread on Me....!

Have no Fear the Republicans are Not Near

Dear Dingo:

I fear for our future as a nation, when there are millions of folks willing to believe the lies of a stolen election or deny the importance of Covid vaccines, masks or even anything else considered sensible. Is reality as we know it over?

Answer:

Far from it.

This, my friend, is simply the process of natural selection at work. When organisms better adapted to their environment survive to reproduce.

In order to adapt, you need to accept the truth--such as Covid may get you, so act accordingly. And repeating untruths, such as the election was rigged and stolen, is more funny than horrifying. That's right Republicans--why bother in 2022. If you don't trust democracy, then might as well stay home on election day!

 

Lindsey Graham's Gangs

 Dear Dingo:

Did I hear this correctly? That Senator Lindsey Graham said: After a natural disaster, when "the gang" comes, they will avoid his house because he has an AR-15? 

Answer:

Yes, poor, emasculated Lindsey doesn't understand (that even in South Carolina!) you can't just kill someone with your AR-15 just because they are coming for your grits and gay porn collection!

So we wish him luck, as he ignores authorities during the next disastrous hurricane and refuses to evacuate. He will most certainly have much more fun marching around with an assault rifle, protecting his imaginary family & pets, rather than simply reserving a room at the Hilton.