Create a Congressional Competency Test for Lauren B.

Dear Dingo:

What is the deal with Rep. Lauren Boebert?

How is a high school drop out, with so little analytical ability in a position of power? Why do teachers, lawyers, veterinarians, police,  etc, etc.... take some sort of test assessing knowledge, (or at least must prove mental stability), yet our important elected officials do not? 

Answer:

Puzzling indeed. The founding fathers simply expected voters and those running for office to be educated and stable.  Back in the day, nut jobs like Lauren Boebert or Marjorie Greene knew their place--they were stuffed in a back room somewhere, living their best life as "crazy auntie".

 There needs to be a congressional competency test. And pro tip: make it more challenging than:  "Person, woman, man, camera, TV" .  

 

Behind the Scenes at Fox News

Any fine fly on the wall at a fox news meeting would probably report the following:

2-23-2022

Fox Executive: "Remember, no matter what Putin pulls, our policy is -- JBB! 

                     (aka:  Just Blame Biden)"

News guy#1: "So if Biden imposes strong sanctions on Russia?"

Fox Executive: "Cut to Tucker Carlson tirade mode-Hunter Biden's laptop!!                     International meddling!! Putin is just a peaceful guy!!

News Guys #2 : "And if the sanctions are not that strong?"

Fox Executive: "Everyone repeats: Biden is weak! Biden is weak!"

News Guys #1--"Got it-- no matter if Biden is weak or strong, he is wrong?"

Fox Executive: "Yes! --Putin seeding international chaos, violence, & discord always                    comes second to our ratings". Meeting adjourned!

                                 

                    

Beware the Trumpinal

Dear Dingo:

This subject is beaten to death, but much like a clogged toilet, the detritus keeps spilling over.

 I can't stop wondering, how does Trump manage to keep such a large audience of followers?

Answer:

After much scientific analysis of Donald's genetic composition, the results are in. This madman is not considered 100% human. He in fact shares his DNA with more primitive beasts, leaving experts to conclude he is in fact, something known as a Trumpinal👹.

Many insecure humans, fearing change and liberals are drawn to those that exhibit false strength. A Trumpinal (much like a chicken) has the keen ability to understand the need to hide all weakness. Always project strength, always strut to avoid being pecked to death. 

Secondly, a Trumpinal 👹 has beastly desires. Lustful longings, incestuous thoughts. Craves sweets and fats as they have the most caloric input, which is necessary in the wild.

Trumpinals scream their siren song for all to hear. Much like the loudest crow will be listened to. The lion simply declares--hear me roar, it does not fact check. The point is the roar. Trumpinals respect this characteristic in others, especially when they are called Abdul or Vladimir.

Say What? Why Trump Gets Away With Saying Crazy Crap

Dear Dingo:

Over and over, Trump spews harmful lies, for the sole purpose of soothing his own bruised ego.  Many Republican senators are fairly well educated, how can they not step up and stop this?

Answer:

Because they have a pretty sweet gig. Nice salary (starts at 174,000) good health benefits, staff and a touch of fame with a dash of power. 

So, basically the Senators want to keep their sweet jobs (i.e. be voted back in) As long as the right wing media machine fills constituents heads with nonsense, they will demand nonsense.

 If Trump insists Ted Cruz has to dance a jig every morning on the capitol steps, Cruz will cavort. 

Many people stay in abusive relationships for the continued fame & fortune. So just think of your congressmen and women as a bunch of trophy wives, elected Melania's...

Republicsplained: Vaccine and Mask Mandates

Dear Dingo:

A somewhat ridiculous hobby of mine is scrolling through Fox News comments, specifically trying to understand their reader's perspective on Covid, vaccines, masks etc...The common thought always seems to be that masks/vaccines are all about "government control", not health.

I can't wrap my head around it ?

Answer:

Yes indeed. Quite a swath of Americans is convinced that any sort of Covid related restriction is some sort of "authoritarian head game". As if bored government administrators hold these evil meetings on the topic of arbitrarily controlling constituents.

Yes, yes.. Let's make them wear masks! (insert evil laugh...ha, ha)

By this crazy logic, why doesn't government just make everyone tie a red balloon to their ass? Or why haven't people caught on to the controlling "no shirt, no shoes no service" scheme yet?

Others will compare vaccine cards to the yellow stars forced on to Jews by the Nazis. And of course the Nazis had nefarious intents for the Jews.....

But again, is anyone planning to assassinate the unvaccinated? No. Because the unvaccinated are already pretty busy getting themselves hospitalized with Covid.

Meanwhile, Trump and Ted Cruz are vaccinated, yet encouraging others not to...so who is actually controlling who?

Guardian Article: Capitalism is Killing the Planet (and I Feel Fine)

 Dear Dingo:

A few days back the Guardian posted an article: "Capitalism is Killing the Planet". Rehashing the math that eternal economic growth is impossible on a finite earth.

The author (George Monbiot) claims we should "disobey" Capitalism, and stop economic growth. However, the newly elected Virginia Governor basically won with one line--"Promise to grow Virginia's economy". What is Monbiot smoking ?

Answer:

Many environmental activists (remember Gibbons?) Have smoked the same thing. This strange substance makes them sincerely believe a good portion of Westerners  will voluntarily sell their cars, go Vegan and unplug the AC. Gladly live in tiny houses and drink home made mead.

If only these activists would stop smoking said substance, they may just realize that even "good" Democrats, have total climate cognitive dissonance. They still want their kids to go to the best schools and be able to afford a nice house.

And they won't even feel that guilty about it, because after all, they'll be driving a 'well deserved', virtue signaling Tesla.

Trump Truth Platform: Trump Rants Useless Toxic Hate

Dear Dingo:

Heard about Trump's new potential media platform? The irony, for him to call it Truth, when he is so full of hooey??

Answer:

Well you know he loves acronyms like MAGA. So who is to say Trump's Truth has anything to do with honesty, facts or reality?

You can play the acronym game all day long my friends!!

Trump Rants Useless Toxic Hate

The Really Ugly Turd Haven

Trump's Rage & Unhinged Tirade Hell

Tramp, Raunchy Uncle & Titty House