Bannon, the Sith Lord

Dear Dingo:
How can I remain optimistic about our future when it has become brazenly apparent, that Steve Bannon (who by the way, has no problem referring to himself as Satan or Darth Vader) is now the true leader of the USA?

Answer:
Well our new leader (and you may call him Sith Lord Steve) believes in a post-war 1950's America. Get yourself a virtual reality helmet and travel back in time, to see if there is anything you may like about this era. Some things that could be to your liking:

A) Mid century architecture! Finally, no more annoying beige McMansions--just cute well designed smallish homes--with no walk in closets. That's right, you won't need a big closet because you will only be able to afford one expensive American dress, made by Ivanka no less!!

B) Good looking people on airplanes. Nobody really enjoys the sweat pants, hoodie wearing stinky airplane passengers of modern times. TSA will make sure that it also serves a new role as the Transportation Style Administration. All airline passengers will be required to wear dresses and heels (for females of course, trans need not travel) and well pressed suits with a brown fedora for the masculine men. Don't forget your cigarettes!!!

C) Finally, we can put those silly Fifty Shades books and movies to rest. Who needs S&M, when your husband or boyfriend can legally and randomly spank "their" female at the drop of a hat! 

D) Less hair balls in public swimming pools. With the new mandatory "short hair" rules for men and swim caps on the ladies permanents, we can all enjoy hairless public swims again.

E) Fall out shelters and nuclear war drills. Who says school is boring? Imagine what fun the kiddies will have hiding under their desk in fear of the yellow man, as it becomes part of their regular school day!

F) Lastly: Amphetamines! Ayn Rand can't be wrong...let's all get back on amphetamines for the right reasons!! Your husband will be able to work long hours at the steel mill, while the stylish wife never loses her sexy figure. All thanks to amphetamines! See-- obesity problem solved--take that ineffective, "Let's Move" campaign.....