Wanted: Paid Protester Job, Portland Area

Our stable president and associated sycophants proclaim protesters are being paid.

Touting lovely job titles, with opportunity for promotion to professional agitator!!

Fantastic! How do I apply?

Where are these listings, postings, opportunities? Checking Reddit, people all over the nation would love to be paid for time spent protesting!! But nada. 

Blah blah Faux News likes to interview the crowds on demand guy and his small time gigs. But Foxes can't crunch numbers. Who pays for a million attendees? 

Let me tell you, protesting is a dream job. Portlanders or any other upset American would leap at the opportunity for such a swell side gig. Soon you would see not hundreds or thousands, but millions in the street, all year long. 365 days a year. 

Yet applications are not available. Sad.