Have no Fear the Republicans are Not Near

Dear Dingo:

I fear for our future as a nation, when there are millions of folks willing to believe the lies of a stolen election or deny the importance of Covid vaccines, masks or even anything else considered sensible. Is reality as we know it over?

Answer:

Far from it.

This, my friend, is simply the process of natural selection at work. When organisms better adapted to their environment survive to reproduce.

In order to adapt, you need to accept the truth--such as Covid may get you, so act accordingly. And repeating untruths, such as the election was rigged and stolen, is more funny than horrifying. That's right Republicans--why bother in 2022. If you don't trust democracy, then might as well stay home on election day!

 

Lindsey Graham's Gangs

 Dear Dingo:

Did I hear this correctly? That Senator Lindsey Graham said: After a natural disaster, when "the gang" comes, they will avoid his house because he has an AR-15? 

Answer:

Yes, poor, emasculated Lindsey doesn't understand (that even in South Carolina!) you can't just kill someone with your AR-15 just because they are coming for your grits and gay porn collection!

So we wish him luck, as he ignores authorities during the next disastrous hurricane and refuses to evacuate. He will most certainly have much more fun marching around with an assault rifle, protecting his imaginary family & pets, rather than simply reserving a room at the Hilton.

What Really Happened on Air Force One Steps

 Dear Dingo:

Do you have access to secret information?

Answer:

Yes, as the all knowing D, here is what really happened on those Air Force One steps...

1- A few days prior to the "slip" Biden calls Putin "a killer" upsetting him terribly. 

2-My sources at INTERPOL tell me that a few days afterwards, a suspicious masked man eating pelmeni was spotted on the tarmac near Air Force One. He ran for cover as authorities approached, leaving behind a bottle of Kvass and a large can of empty lithium grease.

3- Authorities could not put together what the slippery grease was for.

Challenge for the Anti-Maskers

 Dear Dingo:

We live near Idaho and am being harassed by 'anti-maskers', yelling about the ineffective 'face diapers' they are forced to wear. What can I do to make them think a bit rationally??

Answer:

Mask-shamers are a very self-assured and rigid bunch. You could of course congratulate them on their rigidosity--Welcome them to liberate their own health care providers, nurses, surgeons and dentists alike! Poor medical professionals spend so much money on med school but still wear those pesky masks? Save your money and go to Q U !

If masks are simply ineffective fascist plot devices-- mask shamers should always encourage their doctor to bare their face! No better time than during surgery or root canals to yell out: "remove your useless masks of shame, I welcome you to splatter your spittle !!!"

Who is Really the Boiled Frog?

Dear Dingo:

I received a wrong number text--warning me that wearing face masks was the governments way of slowly teaching compliance, akin to "boiling a live frog". I really don't get this nut job logic. What kind of compliance education would the government be gaining from this? An evil scheme to make us all wear elf hats and clown shoes?

Answer:

Yes. There is in fact a pot of simmering frogs on the stove, but you my friend are not in it. Unfortunately, a substantial part of the Republican party is. Trump has spent years grooming (a.k.a.slowly cooking) his followers to believe any crazy thing he says. Inauguration crowds, unfair Emmy awards, where Obama was born, dead voters... He knows if you repeat a lie (illusory truth effect) it eventually seems true. Just ask Goebbels. Another one who slowly simmered the pot and boiled the 🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸 !!

 

The Trump Admin Had a Healthcare Plan All Along

Dear Dingo:

I see that many right wing forums repeat the message that only those with "underlying conditions" have negative outcomes (such as death) from Covid 19. Why do they spew that? Do they really feel that 400,000 deaths, even for those with underlying conditions, is pro-life or even ok? 

Answer:

Alas, it was simply the Trump Healthcare plan--cost savings for all! Once upon a time, when the Democrats proposed discussing  voluntary "end of life care", the ever-wise arctic oracle, Sarah Palin, dubbed the suggestion as "death panels".

Apparently, what the Republicans did not like about 'end of life care', was the 'voluntary' part. Instead, they feel that in order to afford socialized medicine, we really need to speed up eliminating the vulnerable and pesky weaklings. Forcing them into end of life. This outcome can be achieved in many ways: anti maskers harassing shoppers at Trader Joe's, inviting grandma to a rally or simply hiding all the personal protective equipment. Awesome healthcare savings!

 

The Literate Follow Their Inner Lemming

 Dear Dingo:

When Ebola peaked in many African nations, with it came a spread of misinformation, mistrust of government and conspiracy theories. I thought---there you have it, lack of education...But no....

Answer:

Uncomfortable factoid: The USA globally ranks in the top 6 as having "the most educated population" on earth. That means: universal literacy, access to higher education and all that jazz. Yet, why do so many of you believe in crazy conspiracies, dark magic and [with a straight face] go to church and drink the blood of Jesus (?)

You silly white people thought 'Westernization' would lead to rational behavior and choices! Ha! Misunderstanding the power of propaganda. You think the Germans were a bunch of illiterate flunkies when they allowed Hitler and his nonsense? No. For future reference please note: the squeaky demagogue will get the grease....Let's just hope the aliens get here soon👽!