Saturday, April 13, 2019

Eat, Drink, Sleep, Migrate

Dear Dingo:
Isn't it ok to be outraged by the migrant groups that keep crossing borders??

Answer:
According to Republicans--absolutely !!

We need to acknowledge that migration is bad, very bad. If you are white--pack up your bags, get on a ship or plane and return to Europe immediately! (and take your damn rats too). Give that illegal land back to the Native Americans already. Better yet, once you get to Europe--keep going south, trekking down through the original bread belt of the Middle East (heard there is plenty of room there!) and if there isn't--how about Africa?? Now you are back where you came from. Happy as a clam. No migration necessary. 

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Political Tribalism is all in the Brain


Dear Dingo:
We are painfully divided as a country. My understanding is that this is a tribalistic thing. Why can't we simply evolve and not choose sides?

Answer:
Blame your brain and the politicians that are exploiting it!

Studies have shown conservative brains are actually wired to be fearful and more anxious. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, until it morphs into outright paranoia and crazy speak. You can thank Fox News and Friends for fanning the flames of fearful falsehoods. Conservatives are pretty convinced that the Democratic party is simply a bunch of hedonistic weirdos, encouraging 7 billion dark folks to migrate and vote in the Green New Deal, all while cavorting with pizza eating pedophiles.

On the other hand, science shows liberals have empathetic, trusting brains. Which seems pretty good until you realize that trophies for all and vegan preschools aren't exactly pillars for success. And as the West Coast is learning, not all drug users are a ton of fun, especially when they start camping out in your backyard.