Monday, August 12, 2019

Parasite or Economy?

Dear Dingo:

I was researching the surge in homeowner mosquito spraying services (as consumers fear new mosquito borne viruses) and discovered that the chemical industry is actually pretty damn excited about climate change and the need to produce more pesticides!
How can we ever solve any environmental problems, if these problems inadvertently produce economic growth?

Answer:
Silly, silly human. Only now are you understanding that your "evolved" human economic systems are based on creating more problems, not solving them?

Imagine for a minute if every citizen of the developed world spontaneously gave up their cars, sodas, and lawns. Jogging to work from their sustainable tiny houses, all while stuffing themselves with organic produce grown in their very own rain gardens ? 
Jobs would disappear, the economy would collapse and we would have a lot more drum circles....

But alas, most people would not like this at all. They like wealth and employment opportunities. And employment comes from tearing down forests, building Mcmansions, and being sick.  Your anxiety, sleep deprivation, diabetes and all other health care --is the largest growth industry in the USA !! (a healthy herb sniffing hippie is useless to the economy)

Economists are not oncologists, they do not see that unlimited growth is also called cancer.

Monday, August 5, 2019

The Granolas are Coming

Dear Dingo:

I have seen bizarre signs in rural areas that "liberal legislators want to take your guns". There seems to be this notion, that a complex liberal plot has been hatched to go into people's homes and just take away their guns!  
But I don't get the logical conclusion of this argument. Then what? What are these liberals actually going to do to unarmed folk? 

Answer:
Well obviously the debates and political infighting of the Democratic party is a ruse! Simply a silly distraction --it makes them look conflicted and non-unified. But Alas! Bernie, Harris, Biden, Booker, Pelosi and Cortez are all one. Secretly meeting in dark kombucha bars to discuss their diabolical plan for world hippie dominance.
It will be their own special happy place of forced vegan burgers, uni-gender individuals, mosquito rights, and diaper free babies sporting fair trade amber teething rings.