Counting Flowers on the Wall..

Skimming through a few news articles today, I came upon an opinion piece written by a content Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) of pre-teen age children. Even before I clicked to read the post, I was well aware that the content didn't really matter, as we all know it's really a set up. A set up for a good ole gun slinging mommy war! 
Sure enough, scrolling to the bottom of the article evoked the usual self-righteous lady responses: 
"Good for you that you can afford it!"
"I am volunteering, driving the elderly!"
"No, you are just getting rusty, good luck with that!"
"My kids are getting straight A's" 
"I can work 40 hours, clean the house and I am on the PTA" 
"We all know the kids are having sex at the working parent's home!"

 Blah, blah, heard it all before, back and forth it goes... 

But the re-occurring comment that got my little goat was : 
"so what do you Stay at Homes even do all day?" 
Ouch. Come on folks, have you no creativity at all? Who are these miscreants of society who don't even know how to entertain themselves?? Do these uber-workers really explode if someone doesn't deliver a daily 'To Do' list to their inbox?? 
I imagine a bunch of sad individuals without the ability to develop a hobby, passion, or at the least-- a clever little obsessive compulsive disorder!!
Consider, that some mommy blogger writing about being at home is already doing something called writing. 
Other pursuits I have encountered amongst the "at homes" include: reading books, (remember that?) taking online classes, updating and renovating their homes, yard work, photography, art, making soap, raising chickens, developing a craft business, canning, driving people around, knitting, organizing, posting weird stuff online, and of course the good old cooking and cleaning.
A harried working mom once made a comment to me regarding mowing her lawn, errands and doing laundry: "I don't have time for that crap" she said.
Well that's a great way to summarize some of what a stay at-home is up to.. Doing the crap! Someone has to...

Alaskans at the Food Cart

There is a term used in Alaska for those that are stuck out in the wild too long--it's called "Bushy". In other words, when you have been out in the Bush for so many damn years that by the time you get back into town--say Anchorage-- everything seems wonderful, magical and just about knocks your socks off... Sometimes you are blown away by the new Walgreens, other times it's those wacky automatic toilets....
But an Alaskan deposited into the Portland, OR food scene feels pretty darn 'Bushy' as well...So here goes this 'Bush' girl's list of new food experiences:

Unicorn Burgers--Surprisingly yummy. Sweet and fried. They certainly claim it's 100% authentic unicorn meat, I'll leave that up to the US Fish and Wildlife Service to decide...

Thai Iced Tea-- Ok, so this is pretty common at Thai establishments, only dorks and bush people haven't tried it. But after seeing folks strolling about with their orange cups, I finally indulged. What a revelation--Thai Iced tea! Where have you been my whole life? Now I am sadly addicted.

Drinking Vinegar-- Another Thai beverage, apparently made popular by Portland's own famous Pok Pok restaurant. Unfortunately, a thumbs down for me. Vinegar reminds me of all sorts of things--salad dressing is ok (or I use it as weed killer) but beverage just isn't one of them. Sorry drinking vinegars.

Bulgolgi BBQ meat-- Korean. And so yummy, another take on the sweet/salty BBQ type flavors. You can find it everywhere--bulgolgi rubens anyone??

Bacon Nutella crepes-- surprisingly this one worked, because I'm no fan of silly bacon chocolate bars (or truffles) at all. But Nutella seems to solve it all...

Kombucha--I tried it hiding out in the car mid-day like a bad teenager. (It does have 0.5% alcohol after all, and all sorts of dire government warnings ). Chose the Chai flavor--and it was quite delightful, like a smart apple cider...

Hippie Muffins-- Another pleasant surprise, couldn't even taste the hippies.

The Secret to Suburban Living

Upon ones arrival to the Pacific Northwest, it becomes rather apparent that there is no stigma attached whatsoever to the excessive consumption of beer or wine. In fact, it is enthusiastically encouraged to continuously support your local vineyards or micro-brewers, ciders or whatever other fermented beverage happens to hit the market that week.
The vast amount of locations where all this wine and beer libation is encouraged can be rather mesmerizing--be it the public parks, street fairs, food courts, beer stands at Whole Foods, wine bars at Fred Meyer grocery stores or even the "Loaded Brush" wine and art class studios...
Naturally, I assumed this constant libation had something to do with the overall friendliness of the Oregonian community. But apparently I missed one other important piece of the puzzle. 
Clue # 1 The terse exchange of words between parents during trick or treating, regarding the acceptability of smoking whatever one desires on a public street amongst the frolicking children.
Or maybe hint # 2--The constant odor. As I was complaining to a neighbor about the local wondering skunk, I was sweetly reprimanded:
 " Honey, that's no skunk--that's just pot." 
Hmmm, so apparently many of the overly-friendly neighbors are pursuing their interest in personal use mary-jane. So there you have it-- maybe they aren't crazy, overly social folk after all. Maybe they are just stoned...