Lindsey Graham's Gangs

 Dear Dingo:

Did I hear this correctly? That Senator Lindsey Graham said: After a natural disaster, when "the gang" comes, they will avoid his house because he has an AR-15? 

Answer:

Yes, poor, emasculated Lindsey doesn't understand (that even in South Carolina!) you can't just kill someone with your AR-15 just because they are coming for your grits and gay porn collection!

So we wish him luck, as he ignores authorities during the next disastrous hurricane and refuses to evacuate. He will most certainly have much more fun marching around with an assault rifle, protecting his imaginary family & pets, rather than simply reserving a room at the Hilton.

What Really Happened on Air Force One Steps

 Dear Dingo:

Do you have access to secret information?

Answer:

Yes, as the all knowing D, here is what really happened on those Air Force One steps...

1- A few days prior to the "slip" Biden calls Putin "a killer" upsetting him terribly. 

2-My sources at INTERPOL tell me that a few days afterwards, a suspicious masked man eating pelmeni was spotted on the tarmac near Air Force One. He ran for cover as authorities approached, leaving behind a bottle of Kvass and a large can of empty lithium grease.

3- Authorities could not put together what the slippery grease was for.

Challenge for the Anti-Maskers

 Dear Dingo:

We live near Idaho and am being harassed by 'anti-maskers', yelling about the ineffective 'face diapers' they are forced to wear. What can I do to make them think a bit rationally??

Answer:

Mask-shamers are a very self-assured and rigid bunch. You could of course congratulate them on their rigidosity--Welcome them to liberate their own health care providers, nurses, surgeons and dentists alike! Poor medical professionals spend so much money on med school but still wear those pesky masks? Save your money and go to Q U !

If masks are simply ineffective fascist plot devices-- mask shamers should always encourage their doctor to bare their face! No better time than during surgery or root canals to yell out: "remove your useless masks of shame, I welcome you to splatter your spittle !!!"