We here at Dear Dingo, had the rare opportunity to interview President Biden's dog Commander, allowing him the chance to explain his side of the biting allegations.
DD: Hello (insert quick butt sniff)
Commander: Hello to you to (returns butt sniff)
DD: So, you currently live in a gigantic dome house filled with weird smells.
Commander: That is correct.
DD: And how many back leg walkers, a.k.a. the humans, live with you?
Commander: Hmm, about the same amount as a large Canadian goose migration. Besides the old gray man and his wife, most of them come and go all day long.
DD: Some of these humans claim you have been acting aggressive and biting them.
Commander: I don't know what you consider "aggressive", but I have been correcting their behavior with my teeth, reminding them to keep clear.
DD: Why?
Commander: Duh, it is my job. I am a German Shepherd, a breed developed by Max von Stephanitz in Germany to protect flocks from predators. The old man needs my protection. He and his lady are my flock. I do not trust the constant parade of dark suit humans lurking around our freakishly large dome house.
DD: But if you continue with the biting, they may send you away, like they did to Major, the other German Shep protecting his flock.
Commander: I have heard of this Major, poor fellow. But I know no other way. It is deep in my blood to protect those that are weak from predation. As I have heard, with my fine ears, you just can't trust anyone in Washington DC.
DD: Thank you for your time. Good luck with that. Allow me to lick you quickly.
Commander: You are welcome (returns lick)
