Dear Dingo:
I know it may seem petty, but I still have not gotten over the White House serving a crappy, cold and unhealthy meal to elite athletes. What kind of bigly billionaire businessman would even brag about such an insulting expenditure? He comes across like a cheap creep.
Answer:
I have no answer for this madness, but let's learn two cautionary tales here:
A) This is what happens when you send your kids to boarding school-- the mommy lessons get missed out on. Your offspring will simply never learn how to serve guests a nice meal or function outside a bully filled dormitory, where wedgies serve as an appropriate social greeting.
B) "Everyone's favorite foods" obviously lead to direct dementia. After consuming you may experience saying crazy things like: 'Mexico will pay for the wall' or "we ate hamberders".
Dingo speaks
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Tucker Carlson's Excellent Adventure
Dear Dingo:
Faux News host, Tucker Carlson, recently made headlines by 'telling the truth' about immigrants arriving in the USA. He stated they will make our country dirtier and poorer. As an example, he cites Immigrants soiling the Arizona desert during their perilous journey across the border. Then he blames the 'left" for screaming 'racist' when he says this sort of thing. How can he be so blind to this obvious racism?
Answer:
Because apparently poor Mr. Tucker doesn't get out much. I believe Faux News encourages their employees to live in gilded cages, surrounded by their own kind--mostly angry, privileged and portly white men.
May I first suggest Mr. Tucker spend a few days wondering and camping the hot Arizona desert on foot with a family in tow. Apparently he would be able to use his "white vision" allowing access to all the hidden recycling receptacles and toilets among the cacti.
Secondly, he could embark on a glorious journey of whiteness--starting up North in the Mat-Su Valley of Alaska. May I suggest touring the back roads of Meadow Lakes or Wasilla? Clean is not the word that comes to mind, yet no immigrants to be seen....
Third, he should drive the roads through American Appalachian country or the deep South. There he can play the whimsical counting game: "99 deceased dogs on the road, 99 deceased dogs..."
Lastly, wrap it up with a tour of the Seattle or San Francisco homeless camps. Thousands of tents, trash and white (yes, white!) people living on the street. And (gasp!) mostly due to Reagan's Mental Health System Act of 1980 and Republicans refusal to fund housing for the poor-- ironically their least racist policy--as to them all poor people equally suck.
Faux News host, Tucker Carlson, recently made headlines by 'telling the truth' about immigrants arriving in the USA. He stated they will make our country dirtier and poorer. As an example, he cites Immigrants soiling the Arizona desert during their perilous journey across the border. Then he blames the 'left" for screaming 'racist' when he says this sort of thing. How can he be so blind to this obvious racism?
Answer:
Because apparently poor Mr. Tucker doesn't get out much. I believe Faux News encourages their employees to live in gilded cages, surrounded by their own kind--mostly angry, privileged and portly white men.
May I first suggest Mr. Tucker spend a few days wondering and camping the hot Arizona desert on foot with a family in tow. Apparently he would be able to use his "white vision" allowing access to all the hidden recycling receptacles and toilets among the cacti.
Secondly, he could embark on a glorious journey of whiteness--starting up North in the Mat-Su Valley of Alaska. May I suggest touring the back roads of Meadow Lakes or Wasilla? Clean is not the word that comes to mind, yet no immigrants to be seen....
Third, he should drive the roads through American Appalachian country or the deep South. There he can play the whimsical counting game: "99 deceased dogs on the road, 99 deceased dogs..."
Lastly, wrap it up with a tour of the Seattle or San Francisco homeless camps. Thousands of tents, trash and white (yes, white!) people living on the street. And (gasp!) mostly due to Reagan's Mental Health System Act of 1980 and Republicans refusal to fund housing for the poor-- ironically their least racist policy--as to them all poor people equally suck.
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
The Mental Health Summit
Dear Dingo:
Of all the celebrities to choose from, why in the world would the 'president', pick to meet with someone as unstable and nonsensical as Kanye West? Are there not plenty of other African Americans willing to discuss jobs and Chicago crime issues with Trumplestiltskin?
Answer:
Apparently not.
Perhaps they recognize each other as comrades in their struggles with mental illness. Kanye has already opened up about his (obvious) bi-polar disorder, and Trump may want to divulge his own struggles with megalomania and delusions of grandeur. Perhaps treatment options will be discussed.
KIm Johg Un has Dennis Rodman, and Trumpster has Kanye...sanity ensues...
Of all the celebrities to choose from, why in the world would the 'president', pick to meet with someone as unstable and nonsensical as Kanye West? Are there not plenty of other African Americans willing to discuss jobs and Chicago crime issues with Trumplestiltskin?
Answer:
Apparently not.
Perhaps they recognize each other as comrades in their struggles with mental illness. Kanye has already opened up about his (obvious) bi-polar disorder, and Trump may want to divulge his own struggles with megalomania and delusions of grandeur. Perhaps treatment options will be discussed.
KIm Johg Un has Dennis Rodman, and Trumpster has Kanye...sanity ensues...
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Bitches Will Bite When Beaten
Dear Dingo:
Why in this day and age do so many older men still have a hard time taking women seriously??
Answer:
Simple Insecurity. Human men secretly know that women are amazing--so they must keep them down at all costs.
(*note: dogs, on the other hand, have always respected females--- male dogs never consider copulation with an uninterested female, not to mention--bitches bite.)
Back to humans---A partial list of things that scare human men about women:
1-Women make whole people inside their uterus. Men make ejaculate.
2-Women release milk (food !) Men go bald and release hair (non-nourishment).
3- Girls outperform boys in school, and take men's jobs. Men can't replace women (see #1)
4- Women can stand for hours in high heels and panty hose. Men sit in 'lazy boy" chairs.
Why in this day and age do so many older men still have a hard time taking women seriously??
Answer:
Simple Insecurity. Human men secretly know that women are amazing--so they must keep them down at all costs.
(*note: dogs, on the other hand, have always respected females--- male dogs never consider copulation with an uninterested female, not to mention--bitches bite.)
Back to humans---A partial list of things that scare human men about women:
1-Women make whole people inside their uterus. Men make ejaculate.
2-Women release milk (food !) Men go bald and release hair (non-nourishment).
3- Girls outperform boys in school, and take men's jobs. Men can't replace women (see #1)
4- Women can stand for hours in high heels and panty hose. Men sit in 'lazy boy" chairs.
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Earth Needs to Pay Taxes ?
Dear Dingo:
I just read in the NYTimes that our current "EPA" is getting set to roll back mercury emission regulations. Apparently, the cost to the coal industry is much higher than the associated cost savings of health and environmental benefits.
Am I understating this correctly ?
Our government is really saying that the quality of human health or the earth's environment comes down to dollar amounts ? Are we all just numbers ?
Answer:
Of course! The coal industry is not responsible for your "air", they are not forcing you to breathe or anything!! Same with nature--if those cheapskate birds, bugs, rivers, clouds and trees would simply pay their fair share to the coal industry, the industry would gladly assist them!
I just read in the NYTimes that our current "EPA" is getting set to roll back mercury emission regulations. Apparently, the cost to the coal industry is much higher than the associated cost savings of health and environmental benefits.
Am I understating this correctly ?
Our government is really saying that the quality of human health or the earth's environment comes down to dollar amounts ? Are we all just numbers ?
Answer:
Of course! The coal industry is not responsible for your "air", they are not forcing you to breathe or anything!! Same with nature--if those cheapskate birds, bugs, rivers, clouds and trees would simply pay their fair share to the coal industry, the industry would gladly assist them!
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Censoring Conservative Voices????
Dear Dingo:
So I read that the Orange Ogre is now claiming social media companies are censoring "conservative voices". It appears that he is referring to the conspiracy creature known as Alex Jones. Is he seriously stating that creepy conspiracies are part of the Republican party and considered their 'voice' ??
Answer:
Of course! Welcome to New Conservatism. To heck with William Buckley, the "Conservative Voice" is now Infowars-- brought to you by a community college drop out that may or may not be wearing a tin hat !
Facts and science are for sissy Democrats. Today's Conservatives would rather talk about Government agencies planning staged school shootings, fake moon landings and pedophile pizza parties. Those conservative "Think Tank" meetings must be quite riveting...
So I read that the Orange Ogre is now claiming social media companies are censoring "conservative voices". It appears that he is referring to the conspiracy creature known as Alex Jones. Is he seriously stating that creepy conspiracies are part of the Republican party and considered their 'voice' ??
Answer:
Of course! Welcome to New Conservatism. To heck with William Buckley, the "Conservative Voice" is now Infowars-- brought to you by a community college drop out that may or may not be wearing a tin hat !
Facts and science are for sissy Democrats. Today's Conservatives would rather talk about Government agencies planning staged school shootings, fake moon landings and pedophile pizza parties. Those conservative "Think Tank" meetings must be quite riveting...
Monday, July 23, 2018
Providing More Choices?
Dear Dingo:
I recently read that the 'though shall not be named' administration is pushing the World Health Organization to weaken it's stance on breast feeding. The 'administration' claims that they simply want women to have more "choices" and this has nothing to do with funds from formula makers....could this be true??
Answer:
But of course!
The current 'administration" is all about excellent choices for all Americans!!
Now you are finally able to choose increased fuel consumption, reduced water quality or less of those pesky National Monuments.
How about the choice to attend bogus for-profit universities with no discernible educational outcome!? Or the choice to have weakened consumer protections??
Even the choice to shoot your mother if she is experiencing a mental health crisis! (take that Obamacare-- preexisting conditions: solved).
Yes, yes- as we all know, they are very, very concerned with women's choices. Just look at the Supreme Court nominations!
I recently read that the 'though shall not be named' administration is pushing the World Health Organization to weaken it's stance on breast feeding. The 'administration' claims that they simply want women to have more "choices" and this has nothing to do with funds from formula makers....could this be true??
Answer:
But of course!
The current 'administration" is all about excellent choices for all Americans!!
Now you are finally able to choose increased fuel consumption, reduced water quality or less of those pesky National Monuments.
How about the choice to attend bogus for-profit universities with no discernible educational outcome!? Or the choice to have weakened consumer protections??
Even the choice to shoot your mother if she is experiencing a mental health crisis! (take that Obamacare-- preexisting conditions: solved).
Yes, yes- as we all know, they are very, very concerned with women's choices. Just look at the Supreme Court nominations!
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