Bullied by Old People

It all started rather innocently, fueled by my naively ambitious good intentions...

You see, I had inherited my mom's cherished living room couch. It was her prized possession, but after some 40 years in need of love or what is also known as 're-upholstering.'

Now smarter souls than I, they do not do re-upholstering. Logical people get a quote for the project, laugh at the ridiculously high price and then skip off into the sunset to buy a new couch ...

But no, no, no... I had to be a self righteous fool!...smuggly deciding that I would most definitely reupholster. Look at me! Re-purposing this fabulous old frame!

And to top it off, I chose a cute elderly couple to embark on the project. Employing pensioners, yes, how sweet of me! And the gentleman had even gone to furniture school, embarking on his family's lifelong trade, with beautiful craftsmanship to boot...

All seemed well, and I began the journey by tediously picking out the proper upholstery fabric. After looking at hundreds of swatches--I made the choice to go with a yellowish linen type pattern, that seemed very sturdy and varied in color--good enough for 

hiding minor stains. I envisioned a functional couch that would be enjoyed by all.

The day came, when we rented a truck and dropped the behemoth couch off at the furniture shop (and its accomplice--heavy side chair). Finally ready to receive the long awaited foam and upholstery.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the elderly couple with my expensive roll of fabric in hand. As they were pointing to the material, they confirmed-- this is the fabric, correct? And yes, I saw my linen patterned choice in hand. But here in came the confusion. Both of these fine folks simultaneously exclaimed--that rough fabric is the back of the cloth!

What? 

Oh yes, they chimed--look at the other side, smooth and white-- that is the front.

(But I know I picked the darker, patterned side!) But these old folks didn't care--they went on and on... how I couldn't have possibly picked the rougher side. That's impossible. That would be ridiculous even!--they laughed and giggled. And somehow it was getting late and I was confused and we weren't going to haul the damn couch home or reorder the fabric...so I said "fine" yes, let's go with it...you're correct.

Eek. So three weeks later we pick up the couch. And it is beautiful (and they did find weird family photos and a billy club inside of it). BUT it is friggin WHITE.

We hauled the behemoth back home, gingerly set it up in the living room...

And there the white, delicate showpiece sits. I wanted a rough, darker, linen couch-- that we could actually use. But no, the couch smuggly rests-- smooth, clean and white-- just daring for someone to sit on it....And when I exclaimed to the old folks, "how will I keep it clean?"

They simply answered: just bring it back and we will reupholster it again!