Beware the Trumpinal

Dear Dingo:

This subject is beaten to death, but much like a clogged toilet, the detritus keeps spilling over.

 I can't stop wondering, how does Trump manage to keep such a large audience of followers?

Answer:

After much scientific analysis of Donald's genetic composition, the results are in. This madman is not considered 100% human. He in fact shares his DNA with more primitive beasts, leaving experts to conclude he is in fact, something known as a Trumpinal👹.

Many insecure humans, fearing change and liberals are drawn to those that exhibit false strength. A Trumpinal (much like a chicken) has the keen ability to understand the need to hide all weakness. Always project strength, always strut to avoid being pecked to death. 

Secondly, a Trumpinal 👹 has beastly desires. Lustful longings, incestuous thoughts. Craves sweets and fats as they have the most caloric input, which is necessary in the wild.

Trumpinals scream their siren song for all to hear. Much like the loudest crow will be listened to. The lion simply declares--hear me roar, it does not fact check. The point is the roar. Trumpinals respect this characteristic in others, especially when they are called Abdul or Vladimir.