Cheer up folks ! A Trump presidency won't be all doom and gloom. Some of the hidden benefits we may expect in a Trump Fiefdom:
*Purple Hearts for the Promiscuous*
Yes, yes--Trump was quoted on the Howard Stern show, explaining his brave behavior dodging STD's --carelessly sleeping around has been his own personal "Vietnam War".
Now remember children: McCain is a "loser", BUT Trump is our well hung American hero!
*Medical Leave for Menstruation*
As Trump feels that menstruation is a vile, inexcusable activity, he will certainly offer paid medical leave to any menstruating woman. Preferably as she resides in a dark cave far, far away from him....
*Free Slot Machine Tokens*
How else is he going to fix the mess he made in Atlantic City?
*Medicaid Covered Boob Jobs*
Not only will breast implants become emergency medical procedures, so will all plastic surgery, face lifts, hair extensions and liposuction. Get in line girls.
*Less Restrictive Immigration*
Trump likes to talk about building walls, but secretly plans to make it easier to get into the USA...... That is if you are a hot underwear model ;)
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