Dear Dingo:
Can you help me get through this depressing inauguration? I fear I am going to get raging mad and run down the street, naked and screaming....
Answer:
You have two choices today. You can attend your local inauguration protest--make sure to pack a witty sign, plenty of outrage and a pack of matches for the ritualistic burning of some random limousine....
Or Choice #2 --play ostrich, also known as: "head in the sand".
Purchase a cheap bottle of wine (this is no time for celebration wine) and continue to drink until inauguration footage begins to appear blurry on the TV. At this point begin to mutter : "this is just another reality show, this is just another reality show"....
Melania is obviously cast for the "Real Housewives of DC" ready to inspire lust and longing amongst true American men (the right kind!) While Kelly Anne will provide the comic relief , as is evident with her, "I am a British soldier boy" outfit... All the while, "The Donald" will sit at his long board table, grimacing and wondering who next to fire.... And don't worry--Putin has a short cameo as well--always shirtless, energetic and witty--cast as everyone's favorite creepy uncle! Enjoy!
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