Dear Dingo:
Why doesn't the Tyrant Toddler and his administration acknowledge the obvious increase in hate crimes these past 6 months in the USA? Why are they not accepting responsibility?
Dear Darling Human:
You poor thing, so naive.
In the thought process of the Tangerine Tyrant and his supporters, hate crimes are nothing more than social order "placement issues". Putting people back in their proper place is *key* to making America great. Their whole world view is based on reducing justice, increasing non-equality and thus pissing on the weak. This (just like Darth Vader has said) will bring about: "order in the galaxy".
It is so much easier for us canines to understand this twisted concept, as we too rule each other through strength and domination. However, we are a tad more evolved, as no canine has ever bullied another based solely on their breed standard or fur color. For example, a sheep dog wouldn't solely dominate terriers, nor do huskies bully poodles with frilly haircuts (although, perhaps they should).
Dingo speaks
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Friday, May 5, 2017
What is Pro Life Anyway?
Dear Dingo:
I sort of get the conservative view point about protecting life at any cost, including an unborn fetus. But what if the unborn fetus that a female wants to terminate has a serious medical condition? Wouldn't the new 'American' health care plan exclude providing medical care for this very same baby, (ensuring they live)-- because of his/her pre-existing condition?
Answer:
Yes. If you need further clarification --here is a quick guide to understanding
GOP Pro-life logic:
Must live: Unborn fetus, adults in permanent vegetative states.
Ok to perish: Disabled people and those who need Medicaid, soldiers (ours and whomever we happen to kill), weaklings that can't handle polluted air or water, folks killed by toddlers or the mentally ill with easy access to guns, and lastly-- anyone who is not white, especially if you are a refugee or child stuck in one of them "poor countries"--boo hoo to you!
Just make sure you aren't in the second group, and all will be well! Cheers! Viva the GOP!
I sort of get the conservative view point about protecting life at any cost, including an unborn fetus. But what if the unborn fetus that a female wants to terminate has a serious medical condition? Wouldn't the new 'American' health care plan exclude providing medical care for this very same baby, (ensuring they live)-- because of his/her pre-existing condition?
Answer:
Yes. If you need further clarification --here is a quick guide to understanding
GOP Pro-life logic:
Must live: Unborn fetus, adults in permanent vegetative states.
Ok to perish: Disabled people and those who need Medicaid, soldiers (ours and whomever we happen to kill), weaklings that can't handle polluted air or water, folks killed by toddlers or the mentally ill with easy access to guns, and lastly-- anyone who is not white, especially if you are a refugee or child stuck in one of them "poor countries"--boo hoo to you!
Just make sure you aren't in the second group, and all will be well! Cheers! Viva the GOP!
Sunday, April 16, 2017
How to Become a Paid Protester
Dear Dingo:
I am an underemployed student. Our orange president continuously states that any protesters against him are being paid. Therefore, it seems that there should be tons of these positions available ! Yet, no matter how hard I look, I can't seem to find any legitimate openings !?!
I really, really want this awesome job! How do I apply?
Answer:
Perhaps you should contact your state representatives. Surely, they would know all about this lucrative employment opportunity for today's youth! A career that's fun in the sun and much safer than working a coal mine--and you don't even need to pay taxes--just like your president!
If your representative can't direct you towards this fabulous career, may I suggest finding these openings the same way our wise president gets all his info: via conspiracy theory. Simply put on your tin hat, march over to Alex Jones, (or whoever else is smoking the funny stuff) and demand they help you find these jobs!! After all, according to these monkeys- thousands of job opportunities should be available!
I am an underemployed student. Our orange president continuously states that any protesters against him are being paid. Therefore, it seems that there should be tons of these positions available ! Yet, no matter how hard I look, I can't seem to find any legitimate openings !?!
I really, really want this awesome job! How do I apply?
Answer:
Perhaps you should contact your state representatives. Surely, they would know all about this lucrative employment opportunity for today's youth! A career that's fun in the sun and much safer than working a coal mine--and you don't even need to pay taxes--just like your president!
If your representative can't direct you towards this fabulous career, may I suggest finding these openings the same way our wise president gets all his info: via conspiracy theory. Simply put on your tin hat, march over to Alex Jones, (or whoever else is smoking the funny stuff) and demand they help you find these jobs!! After all, according to these monkeys- thousands of job opportunities should be available!
Friday, March 17, 2017
When Your Leader Wears a Tin Foil Hat
Dear Dingo:
I am too embarrassed to admit which country I am writing you from. Let's just say, it was once a great nation, but was recently conquered by leaders who believe only in conspiracy theories and employing chimpanzees as fact checkers. I think the entire administration may in fact be illiterate. I don't know how to safely raise my family under such a scary regime. Advice?
Answer:
Good for the chimpanzees, they have found employment!!
Take heart--plenty of 2nd and third world countries have survived such regimes, and their children may have even prospered!
Look to some fine countries for inspiration, such as Kazakhstan or Venezuela, who also have embraced reduced regulations, monkey business, crazy propaganda and increased fossil fuel production! Yay!
First: Build a giant concrete wall around your home.
Not only will this keep the increasing masses of poor people out of your house, but the chickens will remain in. It is also quite "third world chic".
Second: Say goodbye to your children, pack their bags and send them elsewhere for their education. I recommend Canada. This way, they will also avoid the inevitable 'Bannon draft'.
Third: Remember to turn off your TV and never, never listen to presidential spokespeople. They will try to fool you with bizarre stories of massacres, espionage microwaves and bears attacking schools.
Lastly: Begin brewing some sort of home liquor concoction, you are going to need a lot of it!
I am too embarrassed to admit which country I am writing you from. Let's just say, it was once a great nation, but was recently conquered by leaders who believe only in conspiracy theories and employing chimpanzees as fact checkers. I think the entire administration may in fact be illiterate. I don't know how to safely raise my family under such a scary regime. Advice?
Answer:
Good for the chimpanzees, they have found employment!!
Take heart--plenty of 2nd and third world countries have survived such regimes, and their children may have even prospered!
Look to some fine countries for inspiration, such as Kazakhstan or Venezuela, who also have embraced reduced regulations, monkey business, crazy propaganda and increased fossil fuel production! Yay!
First: Build a giant concrete wall around your home.
Not only will this keep the increasing masses of poor people out of your house, but the chickens will remain in. It is also quite "third world chic".
Second: Say goodbye to your children, pack their bags and send them elsewhere for their education. I recommend Canada. This way, they will also avoid the inevitable 'Bannon draft'.
Third: Remember to turn off your TV and never, never listen to presidential spokespeople. They will try to fool you with bizarre stories of massacres, espionage microwaves and bears attacking schools.
Lastly: Begin brewing some sort of home liquor concoction, you are going to need a lot of it!
Saturday, March 11, 2017
How Can He Live With Himself?
Dear Dingo:
I just read that our pervert president has 24 carat gold seat belt buckles on his private jet. I know the dude is rich, but how does he justify such lavishness in a world where children are dying of famine?
Answer:
There is a strange phenomena amongst millionaires and billionaires, where they actually believe they have been working much harder than everyone else... Even if they are only attending meetings, sitting on comfy chairs and nibbling frog legs, they always believe: "my 'work' is worth boatloads of money, while your silly 'work' is not!
For example, if a millionaire makes 5 million dollars in one year (from say rigged slot machines, designing a jewelry line or a tacky real estate project), they are delusional enough to believe the 4,000 hours they worked in one year (and that would be if they even worked 12 hour days) deserves $1,250 per hour !
That's right kids--the same billionaires that don't want to raise the minimum wage--feel that yelling at subordinates, looking at blueprints or negotiating, is 300 times more work than cleaning nasty bathrooms at Home Depot! Got it ?!
And regarding those starving children....Boo hoo....Remember, that in Steve Bannon's world, those brown third world kiddos are nothing but a drain on Western society anyway...Real children (especially those the pro-lifers are fighting for) can only be precious white zygotes, conceived during drunken frat parties...Hope that is clear now ;)
I just read that our pervert president has 24 carat gold seat belt buckles on his private jet. I know the dude is rich, but how does he justify such lavishness in a world where children are dying of famine?
Answer:
There is a strange phenomena amongst millionaires and billionaires, where they actually believe they have been working much harder than everyone else... Even if they are only attending meetings, sitting on comfy chairs and nibbling frog legs, they always believe: "my 'work' is worth boatloads of money, while your silly 'work' is not!
For example, if a millionaire makes 5 million dollars in one year (from say rigged slot machines, designing a jewelry line or a tacky real estate project), they are delusional enough to believe the 4,000 hours they worked in one year (and that would be if they even worked 12 hour days) deserves $1,250 per hour !
That's right kids--the same billionaires that don't want to raise the minimum wage--feel that yelling at subordinates, looking at blueprints or negotiating, is 300 times more work than cleaning nasty bathrooms at Home Depot! Got it ?!
And regarding those starving children....Boo hoo....Remember, that in Steve Bannon's world, those brown third world kiddos are nothing but a drain on Western society anyway...Real children (especially those the pro-lifers are fighting for) can only be precious white zygotes, conceived during drunken frat parties...Hope that is clear now ;)
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Can We Make Lemonade From These Sour Lemons?
Dear Dingo:
I am pretty much in continual despair every time I read or watch the news. Can you please help me endure living under this bizarre, hostile and truth-challenged presidential administration? Is there any silver lining here at all??
Answer:
Not silver, but I will try for copper.
Think of the Trumpeter as a habitual drunk, insisting on getting behind the wheel and driving a speeding automobile. How long can he really keep the car on the road? Even while most of the police (ahem, republicans) attempt to distract themselves with doughnuts--at some point this car will smash biggly into the guard rail.
In the meantime, enjoy the surreal experience of having a 2nd or 3rd world type propaganda spewing, unstable dictatorship in your own back yard!! Now we can all enjoy the virtual reality of living under a hostile regime. Just close your eyes and pretend you are somewhere in Central America or the Middle East. Look at all the money you saved on air fare !!
I am pretty much in continual despair every time I read or watch the news. Can you please help me endure living under this bizarre, hostile and truth-challenged presidential administration? Is there any silver lining here at all??
Answer:
Not silver, but I will try for copper.
Think of the Trumpeter as a habitual drunk, insisting on getting behind the wheel and driving a speeding automobile. How long can he really keep the car on the road? Even while most of the police (ahem, republicans) attempt to distract themselves with doughnuts--at some point this car will smash biggly into the guard rail.
In the meantime, enjoy the surreal experience of having a 2nd or 3rd world type propaganda spewing, unstable dictatorship in your own back yard!! Now we can all enjoy the virtual reality of living under a hostile regime. Just close your eyes and pretend you are somewhere in Central America or the Middle East. Look at all the money you saved on air fare !!
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
2017 EPA: Enjoy Pollution Always!
Dear Dingo:
I can't for the life of me understand what Trumpeter and his repugnant party is talking about when he calls the EPA: "Job-killing EPA". What do these folks even think is the purpose of this agency??
Answer:
Once upon a time, a Republican named Nixon, wanted to clean up the environment and make it a safer, cleaner place....wait...no, no , no...This is 2017-- Let's talk about alternate facts!!!
The EPA was obviously created as a socialist job killing scheme. You see, according to Drump, progressives are only pretending to care about the environment, health and climate change--they really don't want it at all. What they really want is: less jobs!!! That way, there would be more time to prance around San Francisco with flowers in their hair! Yes, that's all progressives want: no jobs ! Just free love and free drugs! Doesn't that make sense ?
I can't for the life of me understand what Trumpeter and his repugnant party is talking about when he calls the EPA: "Job-killing EPA". What do these folks even think is the purpose of this agency??
Answer:
Once upon a time, a Republican named Nixon, wanted to clean up the environment and make it a safer, cleaner place....wait...no, no , no...This is 2017-- Let's talk about alternate facts!!!
The EPA was obviously created as a socialist job killing scheme. You see, according to Drump, progressives are only pretending to care about the environment, health and climate change--they really don't want it at all. What they really want is: less jobs!!! That way, there would be more time to prance around San Francisco with flowers in their hair! Yes, that's all progressives want: no jobs ! Just free love and free drugs! Doesn't that make sense ?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)