Why is stopbullying.gov only for the Kids?

Dear Dingo:
Not only is McDonald Trump an insecure bully, but I see he has schooled Kellyanne Conway in this subtle art form as well. Now she's hurling insults like a middle school mean girl too! What is up with these adults?

Answer:
I suggest the Trump administration looks at its own US GOV website: stopbullying.gov 
The actual copy follows:

Nobody should be mean to others. (this includes those of Tangerine racial origin)

• Stop and think before you say or do something that could hurt someone. (twitter and crazy rallies included)
• If you feel like being mean to someone, find something else to do. Play a game, watch TV, or talk to a friend. (or eat a cheap cheeseburger, diddle a porn star)
• Talk to an adult (Melania) you trust. They can help you find ways to be nicer to others. (be best!)
• Keep in mind that everyone is different. Not better or worse. Just different. (even those from shithole countries)
• If you think you have bullied someone in the past, apologize. Everyone feels better. (fascinating concept)

There are things you can do if you are being bullied: (i.e. everyone else who is not a giant jack o lantern)

• Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. You can also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid bullying you off guard. (Jokes at NATO summits work especially well, and the bully may just get in his plane and leave) 
• If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don’t fight back. Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot. (until that adult gets fired)

Darling, Did You Have Heart Attack?

Dear Dingo:
There is a news story that Melania was watching CNN (interesting) where she heard that her "Dear Donald" had suffered a major medical event. Why did Lord Trump respond by blaming the media for reporting it? Didn't anyone tell him that would only make his marriage look creepy and weird?

Answer:
 Let me share a comment I saw online to clarify how their marriage works:

"So let me get this straight - Melania thinks he (Donald) had a heart attack, but doesn't call his private cell to ask him how he is doing? Instead, she just sits around thinking he may have just had a life threatening incident, does absolutely nothing, and instead casually says upon his return, "Darling, did you have heart attack?"

Well a girl can dream....

A Simple Quiz in Reality

Dear Trump fans:--
If you read only one thing this year, oh please let it be this short quiz:

1st Question:
If you have nothing to hide on your tax returns and you are being hounded to release them:
 A) Just do it already!
 B) Pay lawyers millions of dollars to keep hiding them for no real reason at all.

2nd Question:
Most likely reason someone is hiding tax returns is because- really rich guys don't pay taxes!
Is this:
A) Awesome! Just tax the working class more to pay for the military and that border wall!
B) An example of how another rich guy is screwing you in the ass.

3rd Question:
If you are a stable genius and got the best, most beautiful, grades in school do you:
A) Show your transcript grades to everybody and anybody who asks for a look.
B) Pay a lawyer millions of dollars to hide those 'great' grades from everyone.

Good luck. 
Note* If you answer B, A, B please refrain from operating heavy machinery, driving a motor vehicle and just talking in general.

How's That Great Again?

Dear Dingo:
MAGA was confusing enough -- it could have meant anything--maybe the 1600's?? I am sure the Native Americans and bison thought that was a pretty great time for America.... 
But now I am more confused--what the heck does "Keep America Great" mean?

Answer:
Well for the cultish following that admires their Orange Emperors' new clothes, I have composed a quick list of the new GREAT!

1- Great new social norms. No more wasting money on fancy pants dinners. If you happen to throw a nice dinner party (for say a famous football team) it is now perfectly acceptable to serve McDonalds--you can even keep the wrappers on ;) Imagine the savings!

2- Great lifestyle. No more boring exercise or snoozefest of veggies. Movement and salad greens are for libtards. Great Americans guzzle coke, chocolate cake, and chick-fil-a!

3- Great freedoms--like the right to annoy bilingual people. Let's face it, people speaking in funny languages are creepy. Now you can feel free to scream--'speak American!' Even if you are yelling at a bunch of US citizens just practicing their French. F 'em!

4- Everyone is a great genius. Grammar, history, spelling and science are officially over. Delinquents everywhere unite-- as you are officially vindicated for goofing off. Who cares what your report card or transcript really says? Just hide that thing somewhere.

5- Great bullying. Finally, cyber bullies have a prominent role model! All along American presidents were wasting time with silly civility or treating others as they want to be treated. Who needs dreary discussions, when you can just call your critics losers, scum or dumb?

  

Greta Wants to Stay on Earth

Dear Dingo:
I am perplexed why there is so much hateful backlash to young climate activist Greta Thunberg. She is just a young lady trying to save the planet. How could this evoke violence and hatred?

Answer:
Sigh. This one requires some background history. 
While you were busy watching Netflix, the powers of the Westernized world have been awfully busy encouraging global trade. In theory--it was meant to be a good thing. Your crap at Walmart got cheaper, bankers got ridiculously rich, and much of the third world has been lifted out of poverty. Awesome, right?

The caveat is this: now that formerly poor Asian countries, Africa & India have grand Western aspirations, they too desire to consume goods and energy at the rate of the average American. This means large homes, closets full of silly clothes, AC, appliances, electricity, fuel and cars. Americans (at 5% global population) consume 24% of earth's energy. If you multiply that kind of resource consumption x future increase in human population --even with renewable energy-- earth is doomed.

In fact, this isn't even a surprise. The CEO "genius" of our day--Jeff Bezos (think Amazon) knows it, and wants to save earth by stuffing the next generation of humans into giant floating space tubes-- utilizing the energy resources of the moon and solar system. He is already spending billions, working with NASA (heard of Blue Origin?) to ensure future generations will wander around giant terrariums breathing fake air- [available for purchase from Amazon.com] yay! 

What does that have to do with poor little Greta?  Well she had the guts to say it. To look the leaders of the Westernized world in the eye and say she knows they are selling a lie:

 "The fairy tale of endless economic growth." 

And those same leaders know, that Climate Change is tiny toe fungus compared to global resource depletion. And they know that earth will be done with. So they support Bezos and NASA and the effort to move future generations to Planet B or weird massive space tubes. To them, this is SOMEHOW EASIER (?) than limiting population growth and curtailing consumption. Because, after all, who cares if your lizard grand children will be living in giant terrariums-- the McMansions and Mercedes were totally worth it.

The Marital Bliss of Kellyanne Conway

Dear Dingo:
I am puzzled by the continued marital union of Kellyanne and George Conway. Imagine such a marriage where your husband continues to publicly criticize your boss, and the boss responds by tweeting out that your husband is a loser. Who could endure such a union?

Answer:
Catholics. Their marriage dissolution rules are just too tedious for today's modern families.
However, the more interesting reply is this:
Kellyanne, is in fact, a double agent....

George himself, admits in his anti-Trump rants and editorials, that his info comes from sources "close to Trump." 
Why wouldn't you pick the blonde brain of the bimbo living under your own roof?
What if Kellyanne is secretly just as fed up as the others, yet remains fake loyal to Trump solely for her own economic gain? (waiting to write the BESTEST book yet!)

Besides, if there is a freakish chance she possesses some twisted loyalty to her sociopath boss, wouldn't a glass of Merlot be enough to get that skinny bitch blabbing like a drunken sailor? 

Acknowledge the Bigot Voters

Dear Dingo:

Trumpelstiltskin continues to amaze me with his incredibly loud stupidity and bullying Yet his MAGA supporters are unfazed, still completely enamored with him ! Please explain !

Answer:
Once upon a time, I lived with another dog, a weaker dog. My humans read that they should let me (Dingo) dominate the weaker dog and there would be peace. So they allowed me to snarl, as it worked. Chaos and dog fights avoided. The weaker dog knew his place.

Humans are just two legged dogs.  Especially conservatives crave "order in the pack". Social Justice (for them) creates nothing but confusion and chaos. They feel weaker people should know their "place" and just shut up already. MAGA voters don't want equality.  Trumpeter is their hero, because he is the mouthpiece for bigotry, that they feel is actually righteous and necessary -- to keep order in the universe. (Yes, just like Darth Vader !) Welcome to the dark side.