Dearest Dingo:
The Orange madman leading our nation, only reads so called surveys and stats that please him, even if they are completely untrue. Not enough politicians seems to care that this fat emperor is wearing no clothes--many keep agreeing with his fantasy world!
What should I make of this kind of nonsense without going completely mad ??
Dear Human:
When in Rome...
Embrace the fact that we will be living in la-la land for the next few years.
Here is your chance to live out any childhood fantasy you may have had--the crazy kind where the adults told you to "grow up"--well no more !!!
See and hear what you want--and who is to say it is wrong---as long as it is true to you...
---Monster under the bed? Sure, you were probably right--he was there all along.
--Have you seen elves, fairies or bigfoot?? Of course you have, who would say you haven't?
--Senior citizen tooth fairy. Why should kids get all the fun? Try out this new mythological creature as you transition to dentures, placing your yellowed teeth and crowns under the pillow.
--Photoshop your prom pictures and post them on Facebook. Didn't go to the prom? Even better, just create a fake date. Then make sure to post "your reality." Also include shots of the epic party afterwards (increasing the crowd size is totally legit now--don't be shy to add a few hundred thousand).
--Fake polls. Ask your grandma, neighbor and dog if they like you. If all three say "yes", post this immediately! You are the most bestest person ever!
---Can you have a pony? Yes!
Dingo speaks
Friday, August 11, 2017
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Health Crisis Inside the White House
Dear Dingo:
The new communications director of the (formerly) most respected office in the world, has startled the nation with some revealing insights. Apparently, Chief of Staff Priebus is suffering from a devastating mental health crisis, while Steve Bannon is interested in achieving self administered fellatio. Will Bannon be receiving any sort of therapy, as the Christian right recommends for such a pursuit?
Answer:
Apparently, our new clown of the week, Scaramucci is himself a leaker--as he does not recognize that there is a Federal HIPPA law, prohibiting the release of another person's medical information to the public. (Of course, fake medical information is just called slander, which is perfectly ok kids!)
On the other hand, Bannons' reported preference for sausage sucking is certainly a topic the evangelicals should take very seriously. We wouldn't want him joining the military, would we?
The new communications director of the (formerly) most respected office in the world, has startled the nation with some revealing insights. Apparently, Chief of Staff Priebus is suffering from a devastating mental health crisis, while Steve Bannon is interested in achieving self administered fellatio. Will Bannon be receiving any sort of therapy, as the Christian right recommends for such a pursuit?
Answer:
Apparently, our new clown of the week, Scaramucci is himself a leaker--as he does not recognize that there is a Federal HIPPA law, prohibiting the release of another person's medical information to the public. (Of course, fake medical information is just called slander, which is perfectly ok kids!)
On the other hand, Bannons' reported preference for sausage sucking is certainly a topic the evangelicals should take very seriously. We wouldn't want him joining the military, would we?
Why Does One Baby Trump Another??
Dear Dingo:
I followed a news story about a terminally ill and disabled infant in Britain, that was denied extended and experimental medical care. Apparently, the hospital that made the choice to discontinue life support, was passionately attacked and even received death threats. Supposedly other hospitals, President Frump and even the Vatican offered to help save this one baby.
Obviously to the parents, their child is special and incredibly loved.
But why was this child worthy of so much more financial and political support than other dying infants throughout the world??
Answer:
It's called--Statistical Numbing.
One million dying infants matter less than the one you see a cute photo of.
(disclaimer: infant must be white)
Here's what to do about it::
A) When you advocate for the Healthcare vote and the "right to healthcare" in the USA (and yes, folks-it is usually Medicaid that pays for critically disabled infants). Or as Trump supporters call them: "Leaches of the welfare state", those that "chose unhealthy lifestyles"....
Remember to send a cute photo of each and every Medicaid recipient to your state senators.
B) Immigration. Parents that take risky boat trips and border crossings, only want the best medical care and futures for their children as well. They have the "right" to come to America. Please send individual photos of refugee children to your state representatives...
Note: (You may need to photoshop here--photos should not include mom's with head scarves or darkish facial tones, as obviously these babies have no rights.)
C) UN funding. Again, every baby and child has the "right" to live with access to safe drinking water. Unicef and the UN, should be allocated increased funding for safe water programs in India, Africa, etc..
Again, more photos of babies here!! (Note: photo must also include cute teddy bear, not tsetses flies please, major turn off).
I followed a news story about a terminally ill and disabled infant in Britain, that was denied extended and experimental medical care. Apparently, the hospital that made the choice to discontinue life support, was passionately attacked and even received death threats. Supposedly other hospitals, President Frump and even the Vatican offered to help save this one baby.
Obviously to the parents, their child is special and incredibly loved.
But why was this child worthy of so much more financial and political support than other dying infants throughout the world??
Answer:
It's called--Statistical Numbing.
One million dying infants matter less than the one you see a cute photo of.
(disclaimer: infant must be white)
Here's what to do about it::
A) When you advocate for the Healthcare vote and the "right to healthcare" in the USA (and yes, folks-it is usually Medicaid that pays for critically disabled infants). Or as Trump supporters call them: "Leaches of the welfare state", those that "chose unhealthy lifestyles"....
Remember to send a cute photo of each and every Medicaid recipient to your state senators.
B) Immigration. Parents that take risky boat trips and border crossings, only want the best medical care and futures for their children as well. They have the "right" to come to America. Please send individual photos of refugee children to your state representatives...
Note: (You may need to photoshop here--photos should not include mom's with head scarves or darkish facial tones, as obviously these babies have no rights.)
C) UN funding. Again, every baby and child has the "right" to live with access to safe drinking water. Unicef and the UN, should be allocated increased funding for safe water programs in India, Africa, etc..
Again, more photos of babies here!! (Note: photo must also include cute teddy bear, not tsetses flies please, major turn off).
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Smart People Bad
Dear Dingo:
I am trying to understand what an average American Joe Trump voter is really thinking. (That is, if they are thinking at all...) Over and over, I hear that these voters are "sticking it to the intellectual elites" and chipping away at the vast conspiracy called: science.
Dingo, help me understand---if these voters really think it is okay to hate "intellectuals", science and facts, why do they even bother sending their kids to school and telling them to get good grades?
Answer:
Get with the program! Education is for sissy cry baby liberals. Today's voter prefers to teach their kids alternate facts. To get an "A" in the new 'great' America, student's study topics such as: the biology of T-Rex and sheep cohabitation on Noah's ark. Or young earth science--- ancient Egypt is now older than the universe. Civics lessons examine Obama era governmental theatrical productions, produced solely to frame gun owners. Physical education is finally obsolete --as the body only contains a certain amount of energy that we would not want to waste. Lastly, reading and spelling is for losers. Covfefe everyone!!
I am trying to understand what an average American Joe Trump voter is really thinking. (That is, if they are thinking at all...) Over and over, I hear that these voters are "sticking it to the intellectual elites" and chipping away at the vast conspiracy called: science.
Dingo, help me understand---if these voters really think it is okay to hate "intellectuals", science and facts, why do they even bother sending their kids to school and telling them to get good grades?
Answer:
Get with the program! Education is for sissy cry baby liberals. Today's voter prefers to teach their kids alternate facts. To get an "A" in the new 'great' America, student's study topics such as: the biology of T-Rex and sheep cohabitation on Noah's ark. Or young earth science--- ancient Egypt is now older than the universe. Civics lessons examine Obama era governmental theatrical productions, produced solely to frame gun owners. Physical education is finally obsolete --as the body only contains a certain amount of energy that we would not want to waste. Lastly, reading and spelling is for losers. Covfefe everyone!!
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
The Weak Always Eat Last
Dear Dingo:
Why doesn't the Tyrant Toddler and his administration acknowledge the obvious increase in hate crimes these past 6 months in the USA? Why are they not accepting responsibility?
Dear Darling Human:
You poor thing, so naive.
In the thought process of the Tangerine Tyrant and his supporters, hate crimes are nothing more than social order "placement issues". Putting people back in their proper place is *key* to making America great. Their whole world view is based on reducing justice, increasing non-equality and thus pissing on the weak. This (just like Darth Vader has said) will bring about: "order in the galaxy".
It is so much easier for us canines to understand this twisted concept, as we too rule each other through strength and domination. However, we are a tad more evolved, as no canine has ever bullied another based solely on their breed standard or fur color. For example, a sheep dog wouldn't solely dominate terriers, nor do huskies bully poodles with frilly haircuts (although, perhaps they should).
Why doesn't the Tyrant Toddler and his administration acknowledge the obvious increase in hate crimes these past 6 months in the USA? Why are they not accepting responsibility?
Dear Darling Human:
You poor thing, so naive.
In the thought process of the Tangerine Tyrant and his supporters, hate crimes are nothing more than social order "placement issues". Putting people back in their proper place is *key* to making America great. Their whole world view is based on reducing justice, increasing non-equality and thus pissing on the weak. This (just like Darth Vader has said) will bring about: "order in the galaxy".
It is so much easier for us canines to understand this twisted concept, as we too rule each other through strength and domination. However, we are a tad more evolved, as no canine has ever bullied another based solely on their breed standard or fur color. For example, a sheep dog wouldn't solely dominate terriers, nor do huskies bully poodles with frilly haircuts (although, perhaps they should).
Friday, May 5, 2017
What is Pro Life Anyway?
Dear Dingo:
I sort of get the conservative view point about protecting life at any cost, including an unborn fetus. But what if the unborn fetus that a female wants to terminate has a serious medical condition? Wouldn't the new 'American' health care plan exclude providing medical care for this very same baby, (ensuring they live)-- because of his/her pre-existing condition?
Answer:
Yes. If you need further clarification --here is a quick guide to understanding
GOP Pro-life logic:
Must live: Unborn fetus, adults in permanent vegetative states.
Ok to perish: Disabled people and those who need Medicaid, soldiers (ours and whomever we happen to kill), weaklings that can't handle polluted air or water, folks killed by toddlers or the mentally ill with easy access to guns, and lastly-- anyone who is not white, especially if you are a refugee or child stuck in one of them "poor countries"--boo hoo to you!
Just make sure you aren't in the second group, and all will be well! Cheers! Viva the GOP!
I sort of get the conservative view point about protecting life at any cost, including an unborn fetus. But what if the unborn fetus that a female wants to terminate has a serious medical condition? Wouldn't the new 'American' health care plan exclude providing medical care for this very same baby, (ensuring they live)-- because of his/her pre-existing condition?
Answer:
Yes. If you need further clarification --here is a quick guide to understanding
GOP Pro-life logic:
Must live: Unborn fetus, adults in permanent vegetative states.
Ok to perish: Disabled people and those who need Medicaid, soldiers (ours and whomever we happen to kill), weaklings that can't handle polluted air or water, folks killed by toddlers or the mentally ill with easy access to guns, and lastly-- anyone who is not white, especially if you are a refugee or child stuck in one of them "poor countries"--boo hoo to you!
Just make sure you aren't in the second group, and all will be well! Cheers! Viva the GOP!
Sunday, April 16, 2017
How to Become a Paid Protester
Dear Dingo:
I am an underemployed student. Our orange president continuously states that any protesters against him are being paid. Therefore, it seems that there should be tons of these positions available ! Yet, no matter how hard I look, I can't seem to find any legitimate openings !?!
I really, really want this awesome job! How do I apply?
Answer:
Perhaps you should contact your state representatives. Surely, they would know all about this lucrative employment opportunity for today's youth! A career that's fun in the sun and much safer than working a coal mine--and you don't even need to pay taxes--just like your president!
If your representative can't direct you towards this fabulous career, may I suggest finding these openings the same way our wise president gets all his info: via conspiracy theory. Simply put on your tin hat, march over to Alex Jones, (or whoever else is smoking the funny stuff) and demand they help you find these jobs!! After all, according to these monkeys- thousands of job opportunities should be available!
I am an underemployed student. Our orange president continuously states that any protesters against him are being paid. Therefore, it seems that there should be tons of these positions available ! Yet, no matter how hard I look, I can't seem to find any legitimate openings !?!
I really, really want this awesome job! How do I apply?
Answer:
Perhaps you should contact your state representatives. Surely, they would know all about this lucrative employment opportunity for today's youth! A career that's fun in the sun and much safer than working a coal mine--and you don't even need to pay taxes--just like your president!
If your representative can't direct you towards this fabulous career, may I suggest finding these openings the same way our wise president gets all his info: via conspiracy theory. Simply put on your tin hat, march over to Alex Jones, (or whoever else is smoking the funny stuff) and demand they help you find these jobs!! After all, according to these monkeys- thousands of job opportunities should be available!
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